submitted by: Samea Haywood
My eleven year old son Kassan is what you would call a social butterfly. Almost every day he's bringing me home a new application to sign for permission to join a new club. As a result of him joining these social clubs he has become friends with many different people. Of course I would like to believe that these clubs and his friends have a positive influence on my son, but that is not always the case. Therefore family being his most import agent of socialization, I make sure that he is internalizing all the norms, values, and beliefs, that I believe to be important. I don't want what our society consider negetive mores or folkways to be superceeded by what he learns from his friends, media, or social clubs. Which are also agents of socalization. Evethough I have my own set of norms and values I do promote open mindness to my son, as long as it doesn't bring any harm to hisself or others. I believe being that openminded is necessary for him to be able to see past his social location.
This morning my son asked me "Mom do you think its ok for a man to act like a woman?" I was shocked by this question, but I didn't show it. In a calm manner I asked "Why are you asking me this"? and "What do you think "?My younger daughter who is seven said with a sacastic voice "He believes it's ok". Shocked again I ask "How do you know"? and she said" because he asked me the same question earlier". As of now I knew this question had my son puzzled. To the point he was even asking his younger sister. Who or what agent of socialization has had this effect on himto the point that he was questioning a males gender role. In his culture he had learned at a young age that boys wear blue and girls wear pink. Why was this question arising now? As we resumed with conversing he said"I mean actors"." Whoo" I was relieved. Well what do you think I asked again. He said "Martin dresses like a women in Big Momma house and Tyler Perry dresses like Madea so I guess its ok, especially if you are making money" he said.
I found his point of view very intresting. The fact of the matter is the morals and norms the majority of society are teaching their children is being compromised by the mass media. My son is making his decision not just on what I am teaching him, but the stars he admire and look up too. In a way this is good because the media is promoting being open- minded, but to whom? Ethocentrism definately come into play because there aren't as many white male actors dressing up as women as the are black actors. The point is socialization has a major effect on people of all ages. For the familes to ensure that cultural relativism remains the primary focous in our childrens lives we need to be repetitive in the norms and values that we want them to internalize.
What are our children learning from what the see?
ReplyDeleteI am happy to read about a mother taking time to listen to and converse with her children. The way this mom chose to handle her young son's question is something that lots of parents and children no longer share, and that's quality time.
In many homes today, this close type of social interaction is no longer the norm. Some type of electronic device is now the main source of communication, entertainment and education.
In many cases, talking like this with your mother or father is considered corny by peers and discouraged by ridicule. Sometimes, it is even discouraged by parents who are too busy and may be suffering from role strain. This lack of family interaction has been filled the media.
There was a time when they didn't show love scenes or kissing on television, if you wanted to see that, you had to go to the movies. There was no nudity on television, there was no vulgarity of any kind. Females did not appear on camera in their underclothes. Society had different values and stricter ideas of freedom of expression. Laws and customs were stricter.
Television,news and radio was censored.
Today, many of those values have changed, customs are not as strictly adhered to and laws have been changed and rewritten to accommodate the rich and powerful. The media influences everyone because they are the rich and powerful. The news, television sitcoms and dramas, movies, music videos, and especially commercials all attempt to influence the values and beliefs of society.
Today, the media, in all its forms suggest that gender and gender roles are no longer specific to just a male and a female. We are all being programmed to accept the new broader views and definitions of gender in society. Some men dress as women, some women dress and act like men. This sometimes can be and is confusing for our young people.
When they see men dressed up and playing the role of a female, they may wonder what role they should be playing and start imitating what they see, especially if they are in the what Herbert Mead calls 'the play stage' where they start pretending to be other people.
This is one of the most important times of psychological development in their lives and this is when they need the most input and communication with parents and other family members. Talking with children and explaining things to them will help them to understand that some people are only acting or pretending because they make money for doing it.
Technology as a social agent has left a great rift in our society, our communities, and between our families, our friends and our children. Television, satellite radio and the world wide web are now the major sources of
information,image,attitude and action for our younger members of society.
It would be nice to see and hear of more mothers and fathers talking to, listening to and interacting with their children. The mass media, while an agent of socialization, and a form of news and entertainment, should not be used as a substitute good parenting.
Samea, I really like the way your son is behaving and acting because it really shows that he is paying attention to what is happening around him in this world. I think that all young children between the age 5 and 11 are really focused on what they see on televisions, in schools and especially at home. As you sit next to me in sociology class, I can really tell that you are a great mother to your son and daughter and that you really care about what they learn especially about the topic of women acting and dressing like men, and men acting and dressing like women. But you need to be careful because you do not want your son or daughter to have a negative influence on what they see in their everyday life.
ReplyDeleteWhen I watched Big Momma’s house, I thought it was really funny because the movie was supposed to be a comedy. But when it comes to young children like your son, he probably was wondering why actors do such as thing. He was right when he said that they make money out of it but there are more important things that go along with making money. The most important thing that I think actors do such a thing is that they try to put a smile on people’s faces. Second, some people in real life have to dress as their opposite gender because they could be on an assignment from work and that is what Martin Lawrence did in Big Momma’s house. Last but not least, some people are forced to do such a thing because they could be having a family problem where they want to see their children. For an example, in the movie Mrs. Doubtfire, Robin Williams dresses up as Mrs. Doubtfire in order for him to see his children daily.
As a conclusion, I think that people sometimes have to do what they have to do especially if they are actors. I really enjoyed those two movies because they really put a smile on my face. But it would be hard to explain it to young children because they find it strange when they see men dressed up as women, and women dressed up as men. But there is nothing wrong about it. It is just a comedy movie On the other hand, if they saw such a case on the street, then it would be a problem and it would become more difficult to explain.
I think it is also important that we consider that computers, cellphones and all of those electronic devices have become important agents of socialization and are critical forces in the socialization of children in the United States. As Richard Schaefer states in “Sociology Matters”, he says that one national survey indicates that 68 percent of U.S. children have a television in their bedroom, and nearly 50 percent of all youths ages 8 to 18 use the Internet every day (p.68). So, all of these things are having an influence on our young children and I think Samea that your son is a very smart young child where you do not want him to be addicted to technology as we are now and that it is nice for him to ask you anything whenever he has a question because that what will make him more open-minded
Submitted by Steven L. Pate
ReplyDeleteI agree with your point that mass media has a powerful impact on the morals and norms parents are teaching their children. Toady television is a 24hr commodity when I was a kid TV went off at a certain time, there were only six T V channels to watch I grew up watching Sesame Street, Mister Roger's Neighborhood, and Electric Company with Morgan Freeman as Easy Reader. these program instilled in me a desire to learn and allowed my to have principles in my life. Today as I raise my 7 years old daughter as a single parent I'm mindful of how impressionable children can be and I spend hours with my daughter watching disney channel, so much my baby has taken over my bedroom. I love raising my daugther and teaching her the nalues and meaning of life fathers are parents too.