By Charles Marren
You can be anything you want in life. It’s the most popular phrase used by parents and teachers to ignite the hopes and dreams of children and young adults. But wouldn’t it be better to phrase it as you can be whatever you think you can be? One of the very first things we’ve learned in sociology is that we have a limited view of the world and in this post I would like to discuss how groups may be the cause of not just our views of the world, but how we view ourselves and our limitations.
Let’s kick this off with an example. Imagine a girl named Sarah. Sarah is sixteen, comes from a middle class home in the city, and has two loving parents. While age and parent situations differ from each of the other students in her school, what type of area she lives in and wealth does not. So on some grand level she’s equal with her classmates. So if we were to ask Sarah during the week of cheerleader tryouts why she’s not doing it and she tells us it’s because she feels she just can’t do it, we would have to wonder what could cause these feelings to plague her mind.
Primary Groups are known as our most intimate groups. They are our family, friends, and any other group that we are close to. Let’s talk about group of friends. As your primary group of friends you all share the same interests. These range from views, clothes, and hobbies. Although individuality still is among you, there is still a strong set of sameness within the group.
Now let’s jump back to Sarah and say that she is by our standards a nerd. She gets really great marks in school, and is a part of the science club. Sarah’s friends also get good grades too and some take part in after school activities too such as band, french club, and like Sarah, the science club. So how could this primary group affect Sarah’s belief in herself?
Through people we see what might be possible for ourselves. We see a singer performing on the stage at the Grammys, who happens to also come from our own city and we then are able to picture that we ourselves could be up there too. Sadly these dreams fade quickly and are forced to look at what’s more on the terms of reality for us, and we find that through our primary groups. For example Sarah, who is surrounded by friends that excel in activities that require more of a mental stamina than physical. This is a group that has accepted her as one of their own, unlike those who take part in the activities such as football, soccer, tennis, etc.
A group that a person does not feel a connection with is called an out-group. This other group may be one in which a person doesn’t like, or simply feel they themselves cannot be a part of due to their own placement and group settings. In Sarah’s case she feels she cannot take part in any clubs relating to physical activities because she has zero connection to them. Without any friends taking part in it, or others in that group being friends with her, she cannot seem to imagine even taking part in it. So without being accepted or having any relation to group that differs greatly from our own, how is Sarah or any of us able to accept ourselves in another group?
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